It has become apparent to me recently that my concept of time is different to neuro typical people. In particular I have no hope for the future, but I also don’t have any bad thoughts about the future. The best way to put it is that I don’t have any expectations.
I know that the sun will rise tomorrow. I can see from my diary that I have various business meetings next week and I am sure these will happen. I know that I will be going on holiday in June. I am certain that all these things will happen, but I have no special hopes or fears in advance of them happening. Any that I do have relate to other people’s expectations of these events or how comfortable I may feel when I am out of my usual routines.
I have no great plan for my life, no path to be steered, no real ambition.
At the same time I have no real existential doubt or fear of death. I know that one day I will die, but every day seems to be its own. I only exist in this moment and enjoy being here.
I don’t find this depressing at all. I am not disappointed with the way things work out as I have no preplanned expectations of them. Maybe I should feel guilty about this?
The down side is that I am quote poor at planning. I don’t see the urgency in things and when this is combined with my poor executive function then things get left to the last minute.
Do other people with Aspergers or high functioning autism have similar issues?
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